For those of you who don't know, I'm a stay at home mom. My husband is currently attending BYU and working two jobs so that I have the privilege of staying home. He has classes Monday to Friday, works graveyard shift Monday to Thursday, and works weekends at his other job.That leaves a lot of alone time for me, so naturally I get lonely sometimes. I have a really hard time opening up to people so that's why i decided to blog. It's easier to write it down than say it to an actual person. I've always been able to get along with pretty much anyone but I have such a hard time actually creating friendships. To be honest talking to new people freaks me out. My heart pounds, my palms sweat, and I never have any idea what to say.So then I awkwardly smile and carry on with my day. Sometimes I feel like I'm not approachable. I've been in a married student ward for a year and a half and i haven't made hardly any friends. What happened to the good old days in kindergarten when you could walk up to someone and say " let's be friends!" I would feel like an idiot doing that as an adult. So I keep to myself and hope things change. Maybe I should make more of an effort? I just have this constant fear of rejection, and an extreme lack of self confidence. Who would want to be friends with me? I'm neurotic, insecure, and sometimes a little too much to take on. For all the people who are my friends, thank you for putting up with my crazy self!
Oh wow...now it works...OK 3rd times the charm. You are amazing. Well done doing this journals are a blessing. I always wanted to blog but didn't know how. Good for you. You are a precious person and beautiful friend xxx
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