Tuesday, January 13, 2015

When life gets lonely

For those of you who don't know, I'm a stay at home mom. My husband is currently attending BYU and working two jobs so that I have the privilege of staying home. He has classes Monday to Friday, works graveyard shift Monday to Thursday, and works weekends at his other job.That leaves a lot of alone time for me, so naturally I get lonely sometimes. I have a really hard time opening up to people so that's why i decided to blog. It's easier to write it down than say it to an actual person. I've always been able to get along with pretty much anyone but I have such a hard time actually creating friendships. To be honest talking to new people freaks me out. My heart pounds, my palms sweat, and I never have any idea what to say.So then I awkwardly smile and carry on with my day. Sometimes I feel like I'm not approachable. I've been  in a married student ward for a year and a half and i haven't made hardly any friends. What happened to the good old days in kindergarten when you could walk up to someone and say " let's be friends!" I would feel like an idiot doing  that as an adult. So I keep to myself and hope things change. Maybe I should make more of an effort? I just have this constant fear of rejection, and an extreme lack of self confidence. Who would want to be friends with me? I'm neurotic, insecure, and sometimes a little too much to take on. For all the people who are my friends, thank you for putting up with my crazy self!

1 comment:

  1. Oh wow...now it works...OK 3rd times the charm. You are amazing. Well done doing this journals are a blessing. I always wanted to blog but didn't know how. Good for you. You are a precious person and beautiful friend xxx